Redefine Success
Who you are now vs who you were when you started your adulthood will hopefully look so different. Before I had children and found my soul mate my definition of success revolved around my work. And it was an unhealthy perspective. The more clients I got in per week, the more hours I worked- that was the definition of success. If I was working 40+ hrs a week, double booked solid with no lunch breaks-=success!
But as I started to evaluate these successes and how I felt at the end of each week it didn’t add up. Why was I feeling drained, irritable, hangry (lol) and depleted of everything but $$? After my first year fully back after my daughters cancer journey in which was my year of avoidance and I did fantastic at the task with my over working self and my most successful year of my career. That’s when I decided to redefine my success with the help of a world wide shut down.
It was the first time in years I was able to rest with no guilt, enjoy simplicity and contentment with the ordinary day things like cooking a yummy meal, sitting in the sun mid day on a Tuesday, enjoy every corner of my home I worked so hard for, realize my husband is my safest place. It was my time to rediscover, reinvent myself and redefine everything I thought myself to be.
When I started back to work after the 3 month shutdown I came back ready and aware I didn’t want to go back to my old work habits and thankfully I had a very specific reason- I was pregnant! I wanted to nurture this time and honor how physical my job is and respect my ever growing body. So I started focusing on details of the days. When I started my work days, how I felt through out the days, how they ended. It’s crazy when we are self aware what we discover! So I started shifting my work days to when I felt the best version of myself because being a stylist you have to be “on” with good energy all day for each client. I realized I strongly disliked 8am Saturday mornings. I want to be home with my family making Saturday morning pancakes. I realized 7pm clock out times also didn’t serve me or the last client well. So I started being more intentional with when I took my last client so I could be done at a healthy time. To be home with my family for dinner.
With gentle shifts and intentional working my perspective shifted. Why does how many hrs I work define me? My career is a craft and in a way and art. So I started treating it that way. And with that my successes changed. Being available to pick Arlie and her friends from school and grab afternoon ice cream, cooking dinner for my family, getting to spend one on one time with clients and feel fully present, ending my work day to still have energy to give the last bit to my kids, having time for connection and my community. This all felt like big wins and success in my life. Don’t get me wrong I am so proud of the hard work and what I have built with my career but I’m learning as we evolve and change and grow (Little humans) if you choose, our priorities and desires shift with that. You are allowed to grow in and out of things, change your mind and always do what best for you. I’ll probably be the 90 year old hairstylist giving all my clients perms but thankfully I’ll have healthier work boundaries to make it that far! What I am doing now will impact my future. So I choose wisely.
At the end of the day, when we are old and wrinkled. Sitting and looking around at the things we have left to fulfill our lives what do you hope that looks like? Is it a house full of grands running around, a book full of all your homemade recipes you want to pass down? A big house with a fancy car? Weekly bingo with friends. A Rolex watch? A home that is safe and welcoming? Designer shoes? Your glassware you thrifted? Pictures of all the places you saw and traveled to when you were younger and had the energy to do? None of these are the wrong decisions, it’s more about why we desire these things. Money and careers are great but it’s not what defines you. I’m learning this through my children’s eyes when all they really want from me is my presence and the most simple things in life and to give these things I realized I needed more time.
Refine success and intentionally live fully 💕🌈🫀💃🏻🧶
Cheers to that!
